Enough with the heavy: tips to get over rough times

Hi everyone!

I don't know if you read my last post about all my personal problems right now (you don't have to), but I told you i would post some things I'm doing to try to keep a positive mind and just moving forward with arms wide open to embrace new opportunities. So, if you're living through rough times or need some advice to boost the positive energy then keep reading :)

1. Split your problems

If you have a lot of stuff going on right now then don't let them accumulate and drive you crazy, split your problems into little pieces and try fixing a few (if you can) so your big problem ball becomes a little smaller and easier to cope with! For example, if one of the things that's bothering you is your appearance than improve it!! Find new makeup, clothes or even a new hairstyle that makes you feel better about yourself so you can take care about the bigger problems. And no, you don't NEED to buy new stuff to do this, just work with what you have in your own home! Look around for tips to refresh your wardrobe and makeup and learn how to cut your own hair! Both the final result and the time you spend focusing on getting to it, will take your mind of the problematic situation and give you a boost of positive energy!

2. Makeover

Like i said, try out new stuff! Dye your hair, cut it, do your makeup in a different way, make new outfits from the clothes you already own, make your own jewelry, cut a t-shirt, you can do almost anything to create a whole new improved version of you or just to update the old one!! Don't be afraid to change, you'll see how good it feels once you do!!

3. Enjoy your friends and/or couple

This is probably one of the best advice I can give you, cause no one can support you and give you their honest opinion better than your friends (or gf/bf). So if it's been a while since you have spent time with them, then this is it! Go, have fun, talk about random stuff and, again, take your mind of the problems surrounding you, at least for one afternoon. This is so much helpful than you think. And yes, you NEED to talk to someone about it, cause if you bottle it up it will be a lot harder to deal with it.

4. Keep a positive attitude

This is sooooo important you guys!! If you let your problems sink you than there's no way they're gonna get better!! Everything, and i mean EVERYTHING will pass, every problem has a solution and everything happens for a reason... and yes, I know a lot of you wont agree with me on this but that's ok, everybody's got their way of thinking, and this is mine. Every little thing that happens in our life, no matter how ugly it seems in the moment, happens to make us stronger and smarter and aware that life is not easy, at all, but there's always a way to get out of nasty situations and learning lessons from them if we have the will and certainty to make it through the obstacle.

Go ahead! Think about it, and keep in mind this tips to help yourself get over a problematic situation.

I really hope i helped you a bit with this.

Love,

*B. Doe*

Just letting it out...

So, it's been a while since I've written on here and it has been very complicated this past couple of months... just a freaking emotional roller coaster with waaaay more downs than ups. University pressure and family issues are driving me crazy (of course i don't think i'm the only one in this situation, and that's why I want to let those people know how I'm trying to handle it in order to help them too), everyday something new comes up and it adds up to the craziness. Basically the problem is that I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do after I graduate, last year I had so many plans, everything programmed and now POOF! it's all gone...

NOTE: you don't have to keep reading if you don't want to, i'll write my way to handle the situation and some advices in another post... i just needed to say all this stuff out loud...

I planned on leaving my country to Canada and start my PhD there, of course, in order to do that I had to decide what i wanted to major in, learn French (cause i planned on immigrating to Quebec), get a job here to make money to leave, take my boyfriend with me and probably marry him before departure, finish my thesis on time to start applying for universities there and opt for a scholarship and so on... but from a few months from now everything just feels like it's crumbling right there in front of me, and there's nothing i can do to keep the pieces toghether...

The thesis: i'm actually hating it right now cause i just don't like it anymore as i did in a beginning, i don't want to do this the rest of my life and i'm just not motivated at all to keep doing it (but i have to if i want to graduate). Additionally, lately i'm feeling super depressed about the people i work with, it's like they're always looking over my shoulder to see what i'm doing, where i mess up to nag me and trying to "give me advice" that actually turns out to be pretty rude comments or just the same nagging with a different tone... UGGH! I'm sorry but i really hate it, i hate that they still treat me like the new girl when i already have like a year working there...

The language: now this part started to annoy me since this last couple of months... and i don't know why but seems like my brain just can't retain any more information! I'm taught a new lesson one day and the next day i just can't remember! It drives me crazy, i'm so frustrated with this cause right now i'm not even enjoying learning french, i feel like it's just an obligation to be able to live where i want to live and it's not recreational or just because i WANT to learn!! And, certainly, there's the comparison factor... i can't help comparing myself with others and it pisses me off when other students brag about what they find helpful online (like videos and articles and stuff) when if i wanted to i could find them too, BUT I HAVE NOOOO TIME!!! and it sucks cause, from the teacher's point of view, it doesn't matter how much free time you have, it only matters whether you do the homework and do extra stuff like that.

The job: i should probably have named this "what job?" cause that would make more sense.... I don't have a job!! And i don't have time to work in it!!! I have to do all sort of experiments and stuff for, yeah you guessed it, my thesis over the summer and there's no way anybody is gonna hire me if i tell them: "uhm yeah so i can only work on like 2 days a week for 4 hours cause i need to work on my projects...", so what the hell am i supposed to do?? And i desperately neeeeeeeed money!!!

The PhD: now this is a complicated part, and i'm just gonna say I don't know what i want to do, in fact, I'm not even sure i want to keep on with the same career I'm studying right now... yeah... rough hit... and I just figured this out like a month ago (i have almost six years studying the same thing)

So, maybe you have bigger problems than mine (i really hope you don't, i hope you have an awesome life i really do :)), but this are my biggest problems right now and I don't know what to do, i don't even know how to feel about all this... sometimes i just want to give up and just don't leave and have a happy mediocre life in a crappy country like mine... but if i do stay, i can't stay home... cause that's another thing that keeps poking me everyday in the back of the head... my family, no matter how much pain it brings me to say this, it's falling apart, the house is falling apart, the communication is falling apart, and i just spend all the time i am around locked up in my room to stay away from all the negative stuff going around me... bad words and two 16 year old kids (one of them being my mom btw... since she's with that f** bf of hers i don't recognize her anymore) is all I see... it tares me apart to watch this kind of behavior constantly and lately I've chosen to act like the mom of BOTH of them, but honestly I'm crying inside when i have to order my almost 18 year old brother and my own mother to do things around the house... i shouldn't have to do that...    .....

And maybe you're wondering about the marriage part, the one i wrote a while ago... well, let me tell you that marrying my boyfriend it's probably the only thing that keeps me from crumbling completely... and whether I'm actually scared of going on with it because we are still young (around 25years old each) and it's never gonna be the same as dating, I can't be more sure about wanting to do anything else in my life right now... he's the love of my life, and he has been since 6 years ago.

Now i just want to thank you... thank you for reading this huge post when I don't even know you and you don't know me, thank you for supporting me just by "reading" me, and please, don't go without leaving a comment, just say whatever you want, even if it's an insult to tell me i'm being stupid, anything... and honestly, thank you again for reading and standing my randomness...

Love,

*B. Doe*