Speaking of fashion

Hello again my loves!

I'm very excited to tell you that i've made some changes in my overall appearance, including wardrobe, and that i'm very very happy with them!
First, and most important, I've got STRAIGHT HAIR! ...yes, my hair was curly (Curly: annoying frizz ball), i just realized i never told you but hey, now you now! And yes, it is now permanently straight trough the amazing Japanese Bioinic Straightening treatment! If you want some info, review or anything about it, let me know :).
Let me tell you guys, i really liked my curly hair when it behaved (about once a month) but straight hair is the easiest thing in the world! Now i only have to apply products because i want it to smell good, not because i'm trying to tame it! It's unbelievable, it really is... <3.

Apart from the hair, the other big and recent change has been in my wardrobe. I have gone waaaaaaaaaaaay out of my comfort zone and i have bought SHORTS.... again, i never told you how self conscious i am of my legs, which i'll never stop but whatever,  but yeah, i was (am) and i bought two pairs of shorts!! Lace and jeans, and i'm in loooooooooooove with them, i can't wait to wear them :D.

Here's how they look like:

Jeans (obviously)

Lace

And i regret admitting i have stopped doing yoga and i started eating like a bear about to hibernate but my job wears me out soooooooooooo bad, i'm just hungry and tired all the time, BUT i found the way to keep my weight like it should and started looking at portions. Portions portions portions! I eat chips if i want, but just a bit, i eat brownie if i want but half the square thingy, not all of it, AND i'm reducing sodas to once a day max! (Hurraaaay :D). The hardest part is to start with the exercise again cause i leave waaaay too early to avoid traffic and i come back home late and too tired so, i'm still trying to figure out what to do with that... anyways, those are my fashion/beauty related updates. Stay tuned for more xD.

Love,
B

A lot going on...

Ok, so as the title says, i've got a lot going on... A LOT... anyways, this post isn't meant to melt down like the last one (sorry for that by the way), it's meant to be a valve to release some steam and clear up my head a little bit... so it will probably be a long post.

First of all, I'm officially graduating in about a month, everything's done, my thesis got accepted  by the jury, no more classes, done, done done! Sadly, i can't seem to be thrilled about it like i should, don't get me wrong, i'm happy and very proud of myself for working so hard to get where i am today but... i should be happier than this. I guess it bugs me that i have NO IDEA what i'm going to do next... fyi, i used to, about 3 months ago i knew what i wanted, not anymore... I'm scared, i really am. I thought i had everything under control, everything planned, everything worked out, but i guess not... i don't want now what i used to want, is that simple.
I figured i struggled too much with the stuff i was working on, and not the kind of struggle that represents a challenge, but the kind that makes it not worth the effort, cause in the end, since you are a nobody, nobody cares, nobody acknowledges your dedication, your independence and your final result... It sucks... and it's because of this development of events that happened during this last months that i changed my mind... completely. I'm glad that i ventured myself in this beautiful and incredible carrier but right now, i don't want to know about it anymore.

What makes me sad is that i would hate to lose all the knowledge i've gain for the last 6 years just because i don't apply them at work, but i feel like i need "space", you know what i mean? I need to miss it, and i need to feel that i actually do love studying it before throwing myself to the wolfs trying to get an MSc. This might not make sense to any of you, but it does to me, it's complicated... if it were simple, i wouldn't be doubting.

So, the question is: What now?? Get a job, of course, marry my boyfriend and move to another country. The last 2 are the easiest, no second thoughts there, but... what the hell am i gonna do for a living if i don't want to work as an investigator?? well, let me tell you something: not knowing and trying to figure out my real passion is what's keeping from getting depressed! I've had around 5 different business ideas for the last couple of months and i get more and more excited about them every time i think about it! I want to paint, i want to build furniture, i want to make accessories, i want to decorate, i want to do what i've always love to do: ART!! ...by my definition (lol). I'm thrilled to think about decorating kids rooms, living rooms, bedrooms, everything! I'm ecstatic about having my own accessories brand (which i already started but got on hold) and my own store to sell it.

Oh my God, i'm getting even more excited just by telling you guys!! I know it's all crazy and weird and too unrealistic but THIS is what i want to do right now, THIS is what i need to do, THIS is my challenge... the good kind!! So this is it, I'm going to do it, i'm gonna work my ass off for this... after all... who's gonna stop me?

Ok, i need to make a break here cause writing all this down i just realized the freaking weight that just left off my shoulders... i guess i needed to analyze it like this...huh...

Well well, currently i have a job, which i don't think i mentioned in an earlier post but oh well, i might right a new one later on explaining how AMAZING it is (sadly is temporary, that's why i need a new one... and the fact that i want to change time zones lol). The job is going great so no steam release there, my boyfriend is more supportive and wonderful than ever and my family uhm... i don't want to get into that... ups and downs as always...

Anyways, i just needed to write, and so i did, and now i feel so so much better... and i mean it, wow...

Oh yeah, one last thing! Check out my next posts to read about some stuff i'm doing for myself and my wardrobe so i don't get frustrated every time i need to pick an outfit lol.

Love,
B

Close to midnight ramble

Hey guys, this post is just gonna be me rambling about everything that's bothering me right now and stuff that i just need to get out of my head. It's gonna be pretty boring so, don't read on if you don't want to.

I'm tired, i'm physically and mentally tired... I already finished everything at college, but i still need to worry about stupid deadlines that keep getting in the way of my job schedulr! And the worst part is that I'M the one they see as irresponsable when i have to ask for a second fricking day off to complete what i tried to do the first time, but, as ALWAYS, it can't be done when u plan it... Ugh, i hate this...
In the mean time, when i want to take my mind off all the problems, running around, and everything else, i can't. Why? Because coming home is not a relief (and i thought this stage was over for good), it's a pain in the a$&@$!! Everything's a mess, everything is dirty, the dishes are filthy, the cat peed all over and the other 2 members of the household are laying back, watching tv or just doing nothing! It's a freaking dump and they don't even care!!!! Why the hell do i have to be the mom around here???? I'm 23 years old for Christ's sake!! I spend all day long studying (well, not anymore) or working!!! I can't come home tired as always, with a backpain that's killing me right now, to go ahead and do the dishes!! Specially when one of the other 2 members spent all day here!!! Doing NOTHING! It's completely exasperating! I want to scream so bad... And yet i don't... I just can't wtand up for myself and tell them how i feel... I can't do that anymore and it's frustating... I don't know what happened to me... Oh and of course, if that's not enough, i have a huge pressure on to find a new job, preferably out of my native country/.. But that involves sooooo much planning and thinking and research and sacrifice... I just wish it could happen easier, smoothly and without having to drain what's left of my daily energy to make it happen... I just want to leave, i don't want to think about whT that incolves... And yes, i know, everyone has problems, probably bigger or more important than mine, but come on... That doesn't mean that i don't think mines are a big deal to ME.
Anyways, i think i can sleep now... Even though tomorrow those thoughts are gonna hunt me from the moment i wake up until i start keeping them in mind again... I hate those thoughts, they don't understand how i need to mentally rest from hem for.a few hours or even a whole day, just to recover.. No, i don't know what i'm saying anymore... Oh, right, i forgot one of the biggest problems... THE F@$&@$ GREASE BALL!!!!! but i think that will be a new different topic... It goes a long way back and i'm talking randomly right now so yeah... Good night, see you soon and thanks for listening :)